Tears

We went to the rodeo the other night - the announcer did a fantastic job on recognizing the Veterans-- and the soldiers that are ready to fight for people they don't even know. Then he continued to give recognition to EMT;s and our police - just about anyone who is in the job to protect and serve.
He asked the Veterans to stand --proudly I watch my husband stand.
 The one thing I saw in all of the people he announced was while they stood and they took pride in their role- the ones I observed came off as I am just doing my job. It gives me chills to see such humble attitudes of I am doing my job because it is what I want to do.

Then the Star Spangled Banner is played -- I can't get through any patriotic song without crying .. I think as a kid I knew what the song was about - but as I have aged I understand it better . The tears now flow openly at events where that song is played and if someone talks about those you are laying down their lives for us- the emotion is so raw inside. The impact of what that really means just is hard to truly understand- people risking their lives to my my life better .

The locust are screaming away- some of the trees are turning colors or dropping leaves. Soon we will be back to school. I will be spending time then with school family. There is always a bit of sadness to say goodbye to summer.

This summer I was driven to pack in as much summer as I could in to make up for last summer . While the memories of the battle of last summer is still there it is fading as we now are stepping into our new normal. Most things have fallen back into place some time ago. I still am dealing with always knowing my limits.

Just so grateful to be able to have a summer but I am still wishing we had just a little bit more LOL

A year ago

We are coming up to a year mark where a lot happened- I was still no weight bearing ,sitting in a wheelchair. I finished another round of IV antibiotics- my mother in law passed away. When we left Tyler to go to Benson for the visitation and funeral- I couldn't get into the suburban my one good leg just didn't have the strength to get me up there. After I got out of the vehicle that day I didn't ride in a car for almost 2 months . The night of the visitation things went I felt ok- felt bad that Bruce couldn't focus just on his family and mourn with them. I was always in the back of his mind- the day of the funeral I knew prior going that I was having quite a bit of pain...I noticed on the "good leg" I was starting to get a rash..

I opted out of going to the burial-- I knew getting into a car would be too much. The kids came back where we were staying with me. I remember going into the bathroom to change- I struggled getting on the toilet-- when it came time to stand up I couldn't . My good leg hurt and I had no power in it.

Zach had to help me get into the wheelchair and then hoist me on the bed. I have to say he is a champ he had no qualms in helping me .. He went and found Bruce- they called the ambulance and I was taken to the Benson hosp..I spent the night . They started me on an antibiotic and worked on getting ahold of my surgeon.  I don't remember much about any of it.. It was set up for me to be transferred to Marshall-

I had surgery on the "good leg" it was infected with staph- cultured MRSA too.. they cleaned it up- replaced the plastic parts. It took sometime for the leg to want to work...a week after that surgery they did the first step in preparing my leg to be fused .

After that I was sent to Sioux Falls for a week for testing to see if we could find out why we couldn't kill the infection..

So many surgeries-- so much going on in our world it sort of sucked the air out of us. I always feel bad that Bruce never really go to slow down and process the loss of his mom.. We have talked through later down the road..
Last year at this time things were so intense ... a year later we are camping-- grabbing our new normal