Distance Learning

 I know distance learning is a topic that has many emotions for many people. I know it takes a lot of dedication . For Middle school and High school kids that is tough. Many parents battle that routine of their own jobs and then their kids in school. I know their are tons of concerns of socialization and just what kids are lacking ..

With that said for our family it works our daughter having an Immune Deficiency there is no real data on how COVID would affect her body's immune system. My husband and his heart failure the less exposure the better off he is. 

After getting sick with COVID I have been home and helping my daughter with her distance learning . It has been interesting to see the skills she has and being part of helping her through out her day. I am grateful for that option and being a part of it for her. 

As a parent there are somethings we miss out on having our kids in school --in a nonpandemic setting she would be back in the building . I know not everyone had that option but I am glad we have that .

Camping

 Before kids it was Bruce and I and our 2 fur kids a cat Smokey and our dog Sasha. Sasha went on many journeys with us. One thing she loved to do was go camping with us.. She would lay by the campfire at night and let out huge doggie sighs of contentment. 

We started with a tent which I was fine with during the day but it wasn't comfortable sleeping - although Bruce never complained. Then we bought a pick up and put  a topper on it. It wasn't a fancy truck but Bruce loved that truck. In the topper we had a make shift bed at the time it was the best . Us and our dog camping in the back of the pick up. It was an upgrade then sleeping on the ground but if you didn't shut the door mosquitos would eat you alive.. and in the heat of the day it was hot. 

It was a simple time in our life but so many great memories. We camp with kids a few tenting experiences and our camper.. 

Now it is 3 dogs -kids and us..  

Valentines Day

  Bruce and I have shared many Valentines Days--some have been gifts of flowers and jewelry, Other years it was going out to a nice supper and maybe a movie. We would switch it up though and they might be my favorite memories . We used to first go the the grocery store and purchase the fixings for a nice meal.. Then we would put it away grab our dog and head out to Camden( the local state park) we would hike through the park. Our faithful dog bounding ahead of us occasionally we would spook up a few deer who looked to see us . We hiked through some snowbanks  for hours  talking ,snapping pictures and laughing .  

Eventually we would end our hike tired and cold but fulfilled.  Then we would load up back into the truck and head home .Then Bruce grilled the meat I would take care of the indoor part of our meal. Whatever sides that needed to be prepared - setting the table 

A few years the snow banks were so high  by our back door higher then the house. We would store our bottle of wine in the banks -- joked it was our wine cooler.. 

They were simple  moments but special to us.                    

 While I was in ICU with fighting COVID I was miserable slipping in and out of sleep. There was one point when I remember being in a dreamlike state. I remember crying and something was gripping my fingers ... I could feel the nail like claws pulling on me --I was crying out ... and suddenly a calm voice firmly said Let Her GO.!

In theory I suppose you could say the medicine finally took hold and was fighting off the virus.

I believe my guardian Angel was watching over me. It wasn't my time- while I  am concerned about whatever the Cardiologist will find. I believe we will get through it ... 

I get frustrated with not feeling 100% and taking baby steps but I am grateful-- I am here and I am able to still be part of my families life.

I hate the social distancing as much as anyone else- but I respect it . I know first hand what COVID can do-- I know some people do really well recovering but there is a percentage who don't handle this virus well at all.

Saturday Baking

 As I was in my kitchen baking a things for my family my thoughts wander to my childhood. Every Saturday I would be at my Grandma's spending it helping cleaning and baking. If I wasn't there I was at home with my mom who also spent a part of Saturday baking .Mom's homemade chocolate chips cookies have been a part of our lives for as long as I remember. 

It hits me at moments like that how precious  those little moments are. I go back to October when I was fighting off COVID . The dedication all the healthcare people showed me while I was fighting the virus was tremendous . Their commitment to be there by my side  is what allows me to be here to help be with my family- to be able to make baked goods- take care of them. It is such a powerful feeling to know while I was so sick and people so dedicated - there we so many the one person who sticks out was the Respiratory therapists who never left my side I don't remember his name . I wasn't able to wear my glasses so many were a fog . This guy worked so hard to get lungs to respond the way he wanted . He would check and recheck my Bi Pap face mask.. He tried different masks and setting and tried different meds- what ever he could to get the lungs to open. Things failed though he stayed in my room talked me through things. told me while I was holding my own -he would have to send me to ICU due to I wasn't responding enough. He stayed with until he handed me over to ICU.

It was lonely while I was there as far as not seeing family but the staff made sure to be as supportive as they could be. 

It makes things like baking for the family a gift from those who fought to keep me alive. 

I get to pass on the tradition of baked goods on a  Saturday for my family..

Flash backs

This was me at work a few weeks prior to getting Covid.. I felt great no clue what was ahead of me

This is me a maybe 2 days out of ICU  still fighting to breath I was on this forced air during the day Bipap at night 

This is I was a day or two before I was discharged ,, still on Bipap at night but breathing much better 

 I didn't have the energy while in ICU to even think about snapping pictures... 

I still have some leftover things from COVID but things are much better - but little things can take me back to my stay. I can't stress enough how great the staff were to me.. I remember feeing bad that no one can come see me... but the staff made sure I felt like I mattered. they spent alot of time with me.

The day before ICU and during ICU I pretty much slept-- they would come check me I would get a quick drink-- chapstick-- a cold wash cloth on my forehead-- repositioned

I remember when we first about COVID at school and we were working on what to do - how to reach the students online. So many unknowns before it hit. Then when we came back in the fall and we knew the virus was closer .People we knew starting to have the virus closer to home... 

After I was discharged I felt so much pressure - wanting to be better -- worried about not working - taking care of my family..

I reached out to school to see if I could juggle some hours from home - I got the ok to do so,then I felt the stress of helping the kids-- my energy level was so off --- my heart raced -feeling better took me awhile...

I wanted my life back but things just weren't falling into place as quickly as I wanted them too .

I get flash backs of what I went thru.... 

Covid

My experience with COVID It started out like what I thought was an allergy/asthma episode we had a few kids also in school with sinus like symptoms so I decided it was something that would pass. That was a Monday I went to work felt tired  but no worse then if I had a cold. Tuesday went to work again just felt like I was getting a sinus infection-that night I crawled into bed and by midnight I was running a temp of 101. 

I called into work that morning went to the Dr . with shortness of breath and a temp -and over all weakness they did a COVID test told to me isolate myself the  symptoms were very COVID  like.  I would get my results in 2-3 days .

Wednesday the chills hit I shivered so hard the bed shook. I started to run fevers of 101 to the highest of 104-I had no sense of taste , body aches, horrible stomach pains and horrible  exhaustion. 

The shortness of breath  was as if someone flipped a switch and the air couldn't move in or out of my lungs Friday feeling worse I get the call from the clinic that my test was negative.  

Saturday I check my 02 and I was slipping below the 80's -- I went to the ER  they did another COVID test .. that one was positive. I was hooked up to oxygen and still my O2 levels were not great.  I realize know but at the time even my mental state was slow not really making sense. My memory of things from that week to maybe a week after I  returned home is very limited . Some things I remember and somethings are a blur.

It was Liza's birthday I felt awful leaving her and it not being a a great day for her. Bruce and Liza left me in the ER parking lot ( due to limiting numbers of people in the building) 

I was taking by ambulance to Sioux Falls... it was a long bumpy ride-- thoughts of will I return to my family-what is going to happen and who will take care of my family. 

The ambulance crew was really nice the person who sat next to me was kind and tried to keep me comfortable. The road side was a blur about the most that sticks out in my mind.. was we passed Popeye's Chicken in Sioux Falls . I thought to myself if I had the energy to say this I should crack a joke and ask if we can stop for chicken. 

When I first got out of the ambulance per protocol I was double masked brought to my room. Once in my room there as always someone next to me a nurse or respiratory therapist.  They were adjusting oxygen and masks trying to get air pushed into my lungs. 

I remember being transferred to a different room and they double masked me and put a lite blanket over my head to prevent anything to be transmitted,

A big part of my first 3 days were a blur- I was unable to to wear my glasses and had bipap face mask on my face so communication was almost impossible.

I know I was hot all the time - I had a cold washcloth on my forehead at all times and a fan blowing on me. 

I wish I could fully explain laying there so weak you just didn't have the energy to read things -- the anxiety of will I get to go home.. and what next 

Things are still lingering ...but the Dr's are checking this over..