Over the weekened I had a fall I doesn't feel like I am hurt much but I will be seeing a Dr. today.
The one thing that I am dealing with the most seems to be the fact I have to switch my mindset. I know my disability changes parts of me. I have always been used to being able to be self sufficient- able to manage myself. I am fighting in my own mind right now about changing my mindset- changing what is my new normal-- and letting go of the things that I can't do anymore.
I never thought loosing a joint would affect me emotionally- you can't see it-- I know it is noticeable some with my straight leg. But it does change you-every thing I do I have to think it thru- Things like getting into the car- crawling into bed - putting on my shoes.
Most days I am great -- I know I sound like I am complaining I guess in a way I am, There are days I get tired of the daily pain-- the new world leaves me with Dr's and scans .
In the beginning after the straight leg- the hope was that eventually I could walk with a cane or maybe even none at all.. now I know I need the walker for sure --
I am grateful to be alive-- to have not lost my leg and be wheelchair bound for life... I know they were all very close to real life. I am just working out things in my mind -- allowing myself let go of the things that don't fit in my new life and finding ways to make my new live my new life to the fullest.
It just hit me hard when I fell and there was nothing I could do to get up and I hated being that dependent.It just makes me realize I need a plan to better help myself.
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